Dressing Myself

Ah I know. I know I know I know! *hears my nephew sleep talking beside me* I am looking for myself. Somewhere in time, I lost her. She's buried in the depths of my memories. I cannot recall what people once loved about her and admire her for. I cannot recall what is so distinct about her anymore. Now she has new loves in her life. But are they actually old loves? Certain fascination has taken over her. What are they? Are these the things that she once spent countless afternoons dreaming about? I don't know. Now she wants to be different. How different does she wants to be without feeling lost again and yet rediscovering her old self? How could she strike a balance between the self whom she mourns and yearns for and the new self whom she equally desires? This journey of integration would be a long and arduous one. While people lived in comfort with their skin and self going on with their daily living, I am busy searching for mine to cover my naked self and shield her from prying public eyes. One always need to have a self to present to all and for me, it ain't gonna be a naked one.